Bad night

This post is a bonus post in which is solely dedicated to Minusone Dear, Don't kaypo =3=

Today is one of the worst phone calls in many weeks.. It's not actually really bad and not really because of what dear said but, my grievance just keeps getting repeated which wrenched me hard. Haiiz.. Grateful she was honest about everything though >< (we not breaking don't curse or imagine wrong things). And this is also the first time i felt unsure.

The conclusion i gave myself is that i am getting possessive as the days goes by. It is not a good thing. It is also the first time i forwarded my "Grievance Draft" to someone other than my siblings. Which is.. sending it on a do or die basis. In case you don't know dear..

The part about me, wanting people to do the opposite is that.. when we were hanging up, i wish not to.. but the thought of school is just stronger than my own thoughts. I need a reason to stay on, not just for myself ><" Was anxiously waiting for you to make me stay.. But apparently you didn't.. this, i also can't blame you because you thought i was busy. Yes, the best excuse ever.

I wonder if this only applies to me but it just doesn't feel good when someone easily grants you what you want without you trying anything. Basically, you can say that i don't believe in free things in life. After much thoughts i realise this is really it. And the reasons i gave for you questions are always rejected by you D: Which is very very sad because.. What happens when a teacher don't accept you apology when you did something wrong..?

Then there is this feeling of being ignored the next moment. It's actually about the phone call too.. it's like so sad and then suddenly you changed topics when we haven't even end it D: I know this is possessive.. I re-emphasise again that i am grateful for your honesty dear ><" Sorry if you dislike this post. This feeling of unsure-ness is unbearable. Maybe it's stress, or school. zzZ Sorry dear..